He said ‘I love you’ first

After two months of seeing each other and only one of officially dating, he told me he loved me. I was so happy — but also so not ready to say it back. Before him, I’d never had a guy commit to me. I’ve never had the chance to fall in love with someone! He’s not pressuring me to say anything, but I’m starting to feel guilty that he’s always saying “I love you” and I’m not. I really like him and I’m enjoying our time together, but at what point do I need to either be ready to say it back or end things?

LOVED

A. “He’s not pressuring me to say anything.”

Good. It sounds like he’s fine with your pace, and that’s what matters.

Please know that “I love you” can mean a zillion things. If he’s saying it after two months, it might mean he’s excited about you. Maybe he sees potential for a future. Perhaps he’s smitten and thinks about you a lot.

It’s possible it’s easier for him to say those three words because they used to be part of his routine with exes.

He doesn’t know you well enough to say “I love you” and mean that he’s spiritually connected to your soul in some way. He doesn’t even know what it’s like to be sick of you. (That’s when big feelings of love come into play, in my opinion.)

There are other phrases you could respond with, if they’re true. Some ideas: “I’m falling for you.” “I keep wanting more of this.” “I’m smitten.” “I’m so happy I met you.”

If you feel like there is some pressure here — that he’s moving at a pace that stresses you out — you can tell him. Then you can decide whether he understands, and can slow down to meet you wherever you are.

Just don’t promise anything you can’t deliver. Stay honest.

MEREDITH

READERS RESPOND:

It’s OK to ask him to not say “I love you” until you are ready to say it. I find it a little odd that despite you not returning it yet, he keeps saying it. It does sound a little bit like pressure to me, or at the very least, he’s not reading the room. Maybe you wouldn’t be in your head about it as much if you didn’t keep getting reminders of it. If he’s a good egg, he would be totally fine with going at your pace instead of moving you along at his. Now’s as good a time as any to see if he’d respect that.

BONECOLD

This happened to me in reverse. I’d been with someone six months and told him I loved him to which he said, “Thank you.” At that point, I did not say it again because it wasn’t reciprocated. Eventually, he brought it up and told me he didn’t love me.

SAYSWHO

I dated a guy briefly who was impatient and even angry, acting entitled if he treated me to dinner or a ticket, for example (and yes, I’d treated him to things, too). Bye! If you feel, at times, that you must say something, try “I’m having such a good time with you” or “Let’s keep going out and see where it goes. I’m enjoying getting to know you.” But if things get to feeling icky or weird with him at any point, listen to that. You don’t have to date him forever if you find out he’s not right for you.

JIVEDIVA

Send your own relationship and dating questions to loveletters@globe.com or fill out this form. Catch new episodes of Meredith Goldstein’s “Love Letters” podcast at loveletters.show or wherever you listen to podcasts. Column and comments are edited and reprinted from boston.com/loveletters.